My lovely family of four leaves tomorrow for Arizona, where we will stay at my (childless) sister's & brother's in law house. My parents will also be meeting us there. This morning, I wrote an email to my sister while the laundry started and my coffee cooled:
1. I have a rash on my thighs and butt. I don't know what is causing it. But it is raised and red, and painful and looks b-a-d.
2. I hate packing.
3. I hate getting the house ready to go on vacation.
4. It's effing hot out.
5. It's so hot here, and so humid, that yesterday you and I were forecast to have the same high temperature: 99. Our dewpoint was 71. Yours was 28. That's ridiculous.
6. Ran errands yesterday. It's hard to run errands with kids, even harder to do with husband. Can't just pick up what I like--have to make a reason for it. And is there EVER a reason why I need ANOTHER pair of black sandals?
7. Decided (I think) to check our bags.
8. TV turns kids into zombies
9. S is heart crushingly cute.
10. My dog has allergies
11. Perhaps my dog is giving me an ass rash?
12. Are you going to be able to pick us up from airport? Enough room? We can put M in your truck bed.
13. I bought M flip flops. He is protesting on the grounds that humans abandoned flip flops they minute they discovered shoes. He claims wearing flip flops represents an evolutionary step backwards.
14. I think I have PMS.
15. Which is great, because I'll be my monthly fattest while seeing all of you after desperately trying to lose weight. Just FYI--I usually gain 3 to 5 pounds during my period. Try to envision me 3 to 5 pounds thinner.
16. Nevermind. You'll be too distracted by the butt rash to notice my weight.
17. Will you come wake me up in the morning and run with me? I'm slow. It won't hurt your knees. You can walk beside me. And laugh.
18. No, working out is not the cause of the ass rash. I've experimented.
19. Do you think laundry reproduces sexually or asexually?
20. I sometimes don't like being the mom in charge of getting shit done. I wish some one else would run all the errands, pack all the clothes, make all the beds, do all the dishes, and I could just show up tomorrow at 4:30 AM.
*sigh* Back to work.
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