Today, Blogspot's photo insert tool thingy isn't working right. I can't figure it out, and I'm SURE it's user error. But, instead of inserting photos, I inserted links to the images I sort of wanted. It's not as good, but it should work for today. Or until I get smart enough to figure out how to insert pictures again. Or until it's fixed.
Last year, we got a hummingbird feeder. It's actually kind of a cool one, as it attaches with suction cups to the picture window in our kitchen. It is stable and stationary (it doesn't sway when a bird lands on it or when there is a breeze) and so the birds actually come and sit and stay for a couple of moments at a time.
Hummingbird feeder
I put it out late last season, and only courted the last of the migrating stragglers with it. This season, I put it out a little too early, and had to bring it in because we were out of town so much over the summer. The sugar rots, ferments, or sometimes gets bugs in it, and I didn't want to be responsible for a rash of drunken hummingbird accidents. A little hummingbird cop would be perched right outside our bar, and would give out FUIs like crazy. That'd be awful. Little hummingbird court appearances. Sorry, your honor, I had no idea. The sugar was totally spiked.
I've put the feeder back out now, and there are two little birdies who frequent our watering hole. One is a beautiful ruby-throated dude with an iridescent green back. I didn't take this photo, sadly, but this is what he looks like:
ruby throated hummingbird
The other one has a black head and is much smaller, and though not as beautiful, s/he is much calmer and sits long enough for me to get a good view of him/her. S/he may be a female ruby throated, or another variety, or a juvenile. I don't know. But s/he looks like this:
Black headed hummingbird
So, I've been kind of suckered in to this quasi natural show. It's natural, of course, as I don't have bionic hummingbirds. But, it's artificial that they should come and drink my refined sugar water out of a plastic container adhered to my window so that I may observe them. The whole Schrodinger's hummingbird thing, I guess.
As I am pondering the artifice of this natural mini-spectacle, I have Clooney in my lap. He is like the epitome of quasi-natural. His fuzzy, adorable, Ewok looking self is like a horrible genetic experiment. As though some one took the face of a sloth:
Sloth face
And attached it to the body of a shih-tzu
shih tzu body
This is not a domesticated wolf. This is about as far as a creature can get from a domesticated wolf and still claim wolf legacy. This is a Jules Verne sci-fi novel.
Ridiculous fake nature.
Meanwhile, the cat is lying on the kitchen table. He is the closest fake nature we have to real nature. He can (without his bell) hunt. (Which again evokes the ridiculous bison food that Clooney eats. Can you imagine Clooney bringing down a bison in the wilderness? HAH!) So, cat can sort of provide for himself. It's not the fancy salmon food I buy him, but lizards and squirrels have protein.
Cat cleans himself. Without the embarrassment of those ridiculous hair clips the groomer sends on the dog.
Cat empties his bowel and bladder without commands. Is there anything less "survival of the fittest" than me, standing out in the rain, holding an umbrella over Clooney begging him to "potty" in the middle of Isaac? Supremely ridiculous.
And of course, I am a human most finely attuned to an unnatural life. I don't like to think about what my chicken dinner was doing last week. I don't have the time or interest to grow and harvest my own veggies, unless, of course they are garnishes for cocktails--I do grow lemons and mint! I don't wash my laundry in a river or roam the countryside like a nomad living off the earth.
Our house is definitely one that is remote from nature. Our yard is manicured, not native. Our location is slightly more urban than not (although it is still Alabama, so take that for what it's worth). We don't commune with nature on a regular basis. And I hate freaking mosquitoes.
Drinking cocktails on the porch is about as much nature as I want on a regular basis.
So it cracks me up when dog, cat and I are watching the hummingbirds. Dog sleeps in my lap, oblivious to the birds. Cat lounges on the table, aware of and annoyed by the glass that separates him from this challenging prey; but content enough to watch this reality TV. I sit and watch all of it from the comfort of my kitchen table:
Nature, but in moderate doses.
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