Clean Carports and Open Houses

Well, my pretties, I have to say I seriously considered photographing my carport to post on this site. The boys and I spent yesterday cleaning out the carport. And by this, of course, I mean we did it CRAZY style. First, we removed the toys, pitched old ones. We used Lowe's cement cleaner to remove that funky flora that only seems to grow in Alabama. We hung ferns (yes, atmosphere, people. EVEN in the carport). We made a pool noodle for a bumper where S keeps slamming my car door into the bricks. We bleached all of the outside toys, inflated tires, WD-40'd all moving parts. We even made a little cubby for the cat. Come, I invite you to eat off the floor of my carport!
Just when you thought we were done, we took daddy's car, filled it with gas, had the outside washed, and then came home to shampoo the inside, scrub it clean and Armor All it. Except for the chocolate milk stain that E put on there when he was about 1, that car is brand new. It is now 9 years old, has 39,000 miles on it (yes, you read that correctly), completely detailed interior. The only body work it's ever had was when a tree fell on it at his work. It's freakish.
Meanwhile, my car is 7 months old, has almost 20K, looks like monster trucks raced all over the interior, and has no paint on the rim of S's door where he keeps banging it into the the freaking brick wall in the carport! Life is unfair.
So, today, as I explained to MK, I am extending the boundaries of my friendship with her. First, I wore spanx to her Women's Group's Christmas party. Now, I am volunteering time at the synagogue. (Yes, you read that correctly). Her church has been discussing Judaic traditions and coincidentally, the synagogue (I just spelled that sinagogue--Freud's EVERYWHERE) is hosting their Home Beautiful, which is basically an Open House offering information and displays about traditions, holidays, and the nature of Judaism. I told her that I'd walk around with her and her friends. But, then, I thought...if I'm going, and am going to be responsible for people showing up, then I should offer to help. I feel guilty just mooching. So, I called the woman in charge, and she was so VERY sweet and also so VERY excited that some one was not being conscripted into service, and so VERY enthusiastic about what she was doing, I couldn't help but offer to do tours or something after MK and her friends left. SO, my Sunday is shot.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the idea of people in Alabama being open minded enough to step inside a synagogue and learn about a culture/faith not their own. I even like the idea of facilitating that. Just not on Sunday. There's going to be pastrami involved. Yum. Just not on Sunday. I even learned a lot about the building itself and the history and the lovely Ark and windows that adorn it. JUST NOT ON SUNDAY.
Especially on a Sunday when I had planned to do some psychotic cleaning or something.
SO, come on by the synagogue this afternoon. I'll be there, be happy to show you around! Get some pastrami....meet MK. Because, I swear, if she's not feeling a little Jewish this afternoon, I'm going to be all verklempt.