I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaack

So, didya miss me? Didya?
In the post-diluvian, parental invasion chaos, I haven't been to the computer much. Except to visit Facebook, play Bejeweled, monitor the oil spill, laugh at cats in clothing and type up a million sign up sheets, notes to school, notes to moms, thank yous, requests for money, and organizational charts, lists, and calendars.
So, the end of the school year is like tax season for accountants. This year was punctuated with the added emotional burden of S's graduation from preschool. True, we now celebrate a graduation from a school that didn't exist 40 years ago. Our standards have lowered. Let's be honest. More than 60% of Mobilians won't finish high school. We have to get our celebrating in while we can. And while I hope that S (and E for that matter) will be celebrating many more educational milestones, this one was a tear jerker.

In honor of the newly-updated house, I have touched up the cinnamon. It's sleeker, cooler, and more in line with the GORGEOUS-ness of my house. So, yah. The modesty hasn't changed. There will be pictures. Immediately AFTER the housekeeper comes. There's no way I'm posting pictures the way it looks now. It's the weekend. Everyone's been home for like 3 days. Ew.

Also, we are in the midst of putting a new liner in the pool. Which I would also photograph except that the pool man is an unprofessional slacker who has left every tool he ever owned, along with all the parts, accessories and hardware strewn throughout the pool so that the empty pit is a death trap and the surrounding metallurgy is a tetanus hazard. Nice.

And in the end, today is notable for one last reason. It is my birthday. Another one. On the one hand, I am thankful I keep having more. On the other hand, I keep having more. Talk about your double edged swords. To celebrate my birthday, I've made some resolutions.

1. To express myself more candidly. Stop laughing. Seriously. I have come to terms that my opinions and ideas are largely unpopular in this region. I'm not going to stifle them any longer. I'm here. I'm a paradox. The completely intolerant liberal. Love me or leave me.

2. To find more happiness. Stop laughing. I'm trying to reconcile this to number 1. I'm hoping that being more open with my identity will foster in me a more relaxed sensibility. This, in turn, will lead to a lower stress level and a happier moi.

3. I will be more fun with my kids. I once saw a mom bravely eat Bertie's Every Flavor Beans from the Harry Potter movies. She ate ear wax and vomit. And laughed her ass off. I should be able to do that.

4. I will fund pharmaceutical research into making a new medication for myself and people like me. The new drug will have the mandatory 'X' in its name: Chillaxin. Chillaxin is for people suffering from anxiety, OCD, depression, children, husbands, birthdays, insufferable regional politics, unacceptable carbon-based fuel disasters, summer schedules, carpool, lack of carpool, stacks of laundry and housework. Chillaxin should NOT be taken by people who are pregnant or who may become pregnant, as those women clearly need institutionalization. Chillaxin may cause side effects, including but not limited to: incurable needs for naps, addiction to wine and/or hard liquor, intense cravings for cookies, irritability, unexplained credit card usage, and sexual dysfunction. Chillaxin has not been tested in humans. Chillaxin is a narcotic-based product. Women taking Chillaxin will require additional competent supervision for their children. Do not take Chillaxin if you are: single, childless, male, have normal blood pressure, or normal hepatic function. Do NOT take Chillaxin and operate heavy machinery (including washers, dryers and vacuums.) Chillaxin has not been approved by the FDA. But its developers are not afraid to threaten the FDA into compliance.

So, we all have goals. I'm glad to be back. See you tomorrow.