As much as I love the Toyota Sienna ads, I have come to loathe the new Chrysler ad. In this spot run during football, a kid is running away from bullies, takes refuge through the liftgate of the family minivan, and gives his pursuers a big raspberry as his mom pulls away from the driveway. BUT, in the middle, the narrator has to explain the new safety features of the vehicle, which include back up sensors (as mom is backing up, she nearly runs over the bullies, but thank goodness, there's back up sensors to let her know the boys are behind her) and a rear view camera (as mom is backing up, she nearly backs into traffic on her street, but thank goodness, she had a camera to let her see so she could slam on the brakes just in time).
Okay, let's start with the basics. Before she got out of the driveway, mom nearly killed three neighborhood kids, herself, and her own child. Maybe mom shouldn't be in the carpool anymore. Apparently, before dad bought her the new Chrysler, every trip to the orthodontist was about as safe as a WWII sortie into France.
Second, whatever did we do before our cars told us we were about to hit stuff? Oh, yeah. We looked behind us.
Third, why would any advertising executive decide to green light this ad? This ad is selling a multi-passenger mini van with a one-child family. This ad is selling a vehicle based solely on its unnecessary safety features. Using a mom who CLEARLY needs them. I don't think of myself as a menace to traffic and local bullies! I don't need a car that protects me from myself! Why would I need a car with safety features for geriatric blind people?
Chrysler has tapped into the ubiquitous national neurosis of fear. Everything out there is trying to hurt us and our children: cars, inoculations, plastic, Latinos, moms in reverse. Chrysler's not interested in swagger, it's interested in taking us out into the world and back safely home with out being eaten by vampires, killed by UVA/B rays, or maimed by playground equipment. I am afraid of enough crap. Lemme drive my gas-guzzling family vehicle around in style, dammit.
This ad embodies every reason I DON'T want a minivan. It's conservative. It's too big for a regular family. It's stodgy. It's going to bitch at me every time I put it in reverse. Its creators are appealing to my husband who deep down thinks I'm not a good driver. Screw that.
In researching today's segment, (read: googling Chrysler minivan) I found this article that ran this summer in the Chicago Tribune http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2010-06-30/news/ct-edit-minivan-20100630-29_1_minivan-suvs-hood-scoop
Yes, in nutshell, yes! First of all, I like this article, because it verifies what we all know deep down inside: girls like cute cars, boys like manly cars. Sometimes stereotypes exist for a reason. But what I appreciate about this article, is that sometimes (even) Americans will break down and act in a practical fashion. Even if our practicality stems from cupholders big enough to hold McD's french fries so we can stuff our faces on the road. But while we're breaking down and being sensible, we don't want to have every impulse towards coolness stomped on like a juice pouch. And, oh Chrysler, you are stomping my Capri Sun.
I KNOW what to do when my vehicle is in reverse: look behind me. Do not run over children (no matter how obnoxious). Do not back into oncoming traffic.
I want style. I want to think that those hot (read: young) guys are looking at me, not at the diaper bag I distractedly left on the roof. I've got SWAGGER. My family is cool, and I want a minivan because I've got 2 kids, and we're out DOING stuff, and we've got cool places to go, and that's how we ROLL.
We are not the people that hide from bullies in the trunk of the family car.
All of this being said, of course, I'll probably be in a car wreck this week. It'll be my fault. It'll involve bullies and reverse, and y'all will see me driving my stodgy Chrysler the week after that.
No comments:
Post a Comment