Excuses, Excuses

I don't like our school district's calendar.  At all.  I don't like that my "small government" state representatives think that regional school districts' calendars should be determined at the state level.  I don't like that those men heard the case between money and education and voted against education, as usual.  I don't like that they didn't announce the change for the 2012 summer until April of 2012, which screwed up the plans of people who actually travel.  I don't like it for a lot of reasons.
I really didn't like that the change meant that the kids (and therefore the teachers and parents) didn't even have 2 business weeks of Christmas Break.  Somehow, we desperately needed an extra week of summer, which studies show is already too long for elementary students to retain their learning, to generate more income from the beach, and fewer days around the most chaotic, most wonderful holiday of the year.  So, I was bummed that the kids weren't going to have Thursday and Firday of last week to chill out.  On the other hand, the barf disease we got kept them home anyway.
That being said, I was definitely ready to see them off Monday morning.  Since recovering from the hideous virus, they have been alternately fighting each other and me.  And I was happy as a clam kissing them good-bye this morning.
E, on the other hand, was not ready to go gently into that small bus, and came in armed with excuses:

E:It's too cold.
Mom:  Wear a sweatshirt.

I feel sick.
Take a Tums.

I feel hot.
Take an Advil.

I feel sleepy.
Have some coffee.

I feel silly.
Prozac's in the cupboard.

We never learn anything on the first day back, anyway.
Today's not everyone's first day back.

Garfield and I think Mondays should be removed from the calendar.
Then you'd be like 1/7th older than you are now.  Go get a job.

I really want to go the library to get those manners books you wanted me to read.
I've done that already.  You said you read them.

There could be a tornado  today.
There could be a tornado here today.  Then wouldn't you feel stupid?

There could be a fire today.
Not if you quit smoking.

There could be a shooting today.
You are safe at school.  I promise you.

I should be homeschooled today.
If you were homeschooled, there'd be a shooting today.