I don't want to alarm you, but Friday, among the discounted Halloween bins, there was (brace yourself) a whole lotta Christmas crap.
My sister and her husband, Type A Extraordinaires, phoned me from an actual store (not their office, in front of the computer) to verify Hanukah gifts for my kids.
The grocery store had a sign urging me to order holiday hams now.
No.
I refuse.
I decline to be shuttled from holiday to holiday by the retail Powers That Be. I don't want to be immersed in the list-making, last minute shopping, teacher gift forgetting chaos that is the holidays. IN NOVEMBER.
I don't want anything ahead of me except Veteran's Day. That is 10 days from now. I will put on a poppy, tie a yellow ribbon, and pay respect to the honorable veterans of this and other countries. I can do that. I can feel in control for a ten day plan ahead schedule.
I might even go so far as to be able to look to November 19th, when my parents come to town. I can think of the things that need cleaning, and the organizing to do.
That's it. My limit. 2 weeks and 4 days.
Damn you, stock market expectations for retailers. Stupid shop-ahead-and-save sales. Ridiculous buy buy buy mentality. There are literally shelves full of Snuggies for Pets with signs plastered everywhere: makes a great gift!!!!!! (Exclamation marks not mine.)
Just to let you know, if you ARE going to the stupid shop-ahead-and-save sales, or ARE of the buy buy buy mentality: don't buy me a Snuggie for Clooney. He has fur, like all lovable pets (who wants a bald chihuahua?), and doesn't need a blanket, much less a blanket with sleeves, since he doesn't read, or do crosswords, or use the remote control, and therefore doesn't need his paws free.
Snuggies DO NOT make great gifts!!!!!! (Exclamation marks mine.)
SO. I am breaking out my inner Scrooge in concert with the ever-earlier Christmas Marketing Extravaganza. I will not be proceeding into the holiday melee until Hanukah or Christmas (whichever comes first) is 2 weeks and 4 days away.
Until then, have an emotionally appropriate Veteran's Day.
