So, sometimes you think your kids/pets/husband really like something. My dog has two favorite non-squeaky toys, duck and frog; my husband well, you know; and the kids have a favorite restaurant, outfit, plan of attack. I'm anticipating it. I'm prepared. I'm ready.
Here comes the curveball.
I've done it right, a few times, but not many. For example, when S was teething, he really liked these $1 orange squirty trucks to chew on (much like the dog, actually). My mom, sensing his affinity for these, cleaned out the dollar store's supply of squirty orange trucks. Those suckers were EVERYWHERE. Under car seats, in restaurant booths, wedged in crib rails, EVERYWHERE. He loved those. In fact, they were such a significant part of his life that I saved one in his baby box. We will preserve the memory of the orange truck for future generations.
But, despite the success of the orange truck episode, I've had more than a few failures. Yummy crust chorken? Kids LOVED it. Thought it was chicken, when it was actually pork, hence the name, but they loved it. A good dinner standby. Hand-panko breaded, lightly fried in olive oil, served with a pasta of some sort. Everyone was happy.
Until they weren't. Last week, yummy crust chorken was greeted with moans, groans, and temper tantrums vowing never to eat again. WTF did chorken ever do to them?
Comfiest shorts EVAH were another failure. S loved them--elastic waistband, lotsa pockets, soft, comfy. Not awful and the worstest like those other shorts. Until, apparently, the Velcro on the rear pockets became too much to endure. Now I've got a drawer of outcast shorts whose butt pockets have the misfortune of closing.
I have heaps of no-longer liked Goldfish crackers, not-so favorite frozen Go-Gurts, rejected half-boxes of frozen waffles, flip flops abandoned and forsaken, reject Legos that are of a worser kit. Haphazardly rejected former friends. Old necessities forgotten like last night's trash.
What is with the switcheroo? How does something go from must-have to dust-shelve so quickly? How are such fickle children ever coached into semi-permanent conditions such as loving their parents? Each other? A future spouse? How do goldfish won at carnivals survive? Why don't those poor things just cast themselves into a toilet upon their first opportunity--knowing, surely that they will be starving in 48 hours when their winner/child grows weary of their very existence? Dogs, cats, rabbits, rodent pets everywhere should be training to learn new tricks, dances, MAGIC routines to try to engage those flighty children for just a day longer. Another moment of sustained interest... poof.
We promised each boy a "big boy" room upon his entry into kindergarten. E got a room featuring scale actual photographs from Voyager of all the planets and sun (including the planet-ling, Pluto, which was at the time of the installation of said photographs, still a planet). They're those Post-It adhesives that peel off without damaging the walls (who's thinking long term?). The room is dotted with glow in the dark stars, and has a 64" hand painted (by moi) headboard of the planets and solar system that glows in the dark. Would you not have considered this the coolest room EVAH?
Well, I am sure it is about to be the UNCOOLEST room, evah, because brother is getting his room redone in honor of kindergarten. It's light gray, features new distressed black furniture, and is going to feature a 6' Millennium Falcon and a 4' Death Star. I think actual planetoids are going to pale in comparison with fake ones proven to destroy Alderron.
But, no matter, because E will be able to move into the coolest room EVAH,because S has decided he doesn't like sleeping in his room anymore. S, who would not, for love or money, sleep on the floor in the hotel room on our vacation last month, has decided the only place he feels comfortable sleeping is on the floor immediately adjacent to my bed.
So, let me sum this up for you, in case you are confused:
- Former coolest room ever decorated with actual space-science stuff = no longer cool & older child's stuck in it
- New coolest room ever, decorated with life size characters from Star Wars = abandoned. Resident of former coolest room ever wants to occupy new coolest room ever, while actual resident of current coolest room ever wants to occupy my floor
- Former my room = camp. Younger child has forsaken furniture and wants to sleep with his dog on my floor with blankie, comforter and pillow, risking life and limb to sleep next to me, who nearly steps on him during my 47 nightly pee breaks
Clear? Crystal. My family is nuts. I don't even know why I try. I should wake up every morning as though I am a droid and my memory of things past should be erased. A blank slate. "What cereal do you like?" "Duh, mom don't you know?!?!"
I have no freaking clue.
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