You may remember that about this time last year, I was in search of new toilets. At the time, I was shocked and awed by the selection...tall, short, oval round, water saving, rocket powered--many, many options. That was one of life's micro-crises.
Recently, my dishwasher has decided to stop doing dishes. Which would be fine if it had other household responsibilities. I mean, I'd be happy to pick up the slack if the dishwasher still planned to vacuum and cook dinner. But, alas, dish washing is this meager appliance's only responsibility, and it is failing.
Not that I'm sad, mind you.
This is not a loyal appliance that has served me well for an entire appliance-lifetime. Nooooo. This is one that came with the house, and already had a rusted out tine in the upper basket before we even got here. Also, this particular model has the silverware basket in the door, which is annoying a) because you have to slide in both top baskets to get at it and b) the latch doesn't stay caught and all the silverware slides into the bottom. Also, after years of heating and cooling the plastic covers on the buttons in the front are peeling away. Also, it's all stained and rusted inside. Also, did I mention: IT DOESN'T CLEAN THE DISHES!!!
So, onto the computer I go: ratings, features, brands, cost, installation, size....sigh. It's all so much.
I was able to determine 2 things straight off: quietness is of premium importance and quietness costs. A noisy dishwasher, though I'm sure it cleans well enough, was like half the cost of a quiet one.
Behind noise level, efficacy. Behind that, ease of use. Behind that, energy efficiency. Behind that, appearance. The problem is, there's no quantifiable measure of efficacy (until you use it, of course). So, all I can say is product A has x number of jets and y number of cycles. But, honestly, who has ever used multiple cycles on their dishwasher? 98% of the time, we run "normal." So, cycles isn't really a measure of anything except the number of buttons on the front.
Energy efficiency is quantifiable, except for one thing: Bosch, which is a premium brand boasts stupendous, if not unbelievable, energy efficiency. Then I find out that it has no heating element. It doesn't heat-dry the dishes. Well, that explains how it uses crazy less energy. Also, water consumption isn't clearly quantified, either. And, for my dollar that matters more than how much energy I'm using.
Then there's appearance. Currently, my appliances are all white and matched. BUT. The fridge's handles are yellowing with age. I don't think the white is ageing well. BUT, I don't want to clean fingerprints off a stainless steel appliance for the rest of my life, either. I can't commit to a black dishwasher, because it will stick out like a sore thumb. I know, the problems of the bourgeoisie. So, I'm standing in the middle of Sears completely baffled about the possibility of an interracial appliance family.
M weighs in: "I refuse to pay more to have the buttons hidden away to look pretty." BUT you HAVE to tell me what color you want."
Me, fast, breathless, confused: "I don't like the white one, and if I get the white one, then I'll have to get white other appliances as they fail, too. And if I get a black dishwasher, then it's going to not match until something else breaks, and that's going to make me nuts. Plus, I'll be committed to black appliances in the future and maybe I won't want black. BUT if I get stainless, I'm going to spend the rest of this dishwasher's life cleaning up fingerprints and I REALLY don't want to do that. If I get the stainless dishwasher, then I could go ahead and get a black or non-marking stainless fridge down the line, I guess. But I hate to spend $100 on stainless just to make things match. OH MY GOD, I don't know what to do."
M: "Whatever you decide, I'm happy to buy the stainless now, but the words, 'But they don't MATCH' better not cross your lips for the entire lifetime of your remaining appliances."
Me: "But a new fridge is so SHINY."
M: "DISHWASHER. WE ARE HERE FOR DISHWASHER."
Me: "But they're not going to MA--. Stainless."
So, we were able to narrow down to 3 options. In the end, I sat in the furniture section, peering at my iPhone, poring over reviews and comparisons until M had enough. With conviction, he rose, strode over to the counter and bought one.
Leaving me a lifetime to second guess.
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