On the differences between the sexes

The whole man/woman thing has been rehashed over and over. It's not just that men are able to pack for a weekend in a lunch bag, metabolize whole calorie Coke well into their 30s, and ignore a sink full of dishes for days; men are simply DIFFERENT.
I don't know if I'm more tuned into these differences lately, or if the differences are just rising to the surface, but I find myself asking "who are these creatures? Why do I live with them?"
Men are creatures of habit, that's for sure. Those ratty weekend jeans you've been seeing for the last decade? They're not going anywhere. Unless you "help" them find their way to "charity."
Dinner? Bowl of cereal & beef stew. A natural combination.
Home improvements? If it ain't broke, don't upgrade, repair, repaint, enhance, re-do, remodel, or in any way change it.
Foreplay? Boner in the back. Has that EVER worked?
Babysitting = TV.
Getting dressed up? While I'm scheduling an extra 20 minutes for hair and make up, he's adding 5 for shaving and 15 to watch the last half of the game.

And young men are just as foreign. They wrestle, play with themselves, shadow box, and mouth off in ways girls just wouldn't. They're weird. I was completely right when I thought that boys have cooties. They totally do.

Let me make it clear that I'm not complaining. Exactly. I'm certainly not leading the parade of the normal and sane.

I sometimes think it's like a language thing. I'm American English. He's completely impossible to understand New Zealand accent. He's PC and I'm Mac. From his perspective, I'm a neurotic, always cleaning something, wanting to liquidate kids' college savings for a kitchen, pestering, "Do I look fatter today than yesterday?" lunatic. I get that. I am suggesting that it's simply a matter of where the mind goes. Mine veers left, his hangs a u-turn. We're often going the wrong way on a One Way Street. We wave at each other as we proceed in different directions, equally lost.

To express this difference in a nutshell, the following anecdote:
We drive by the, ahem, Gentleman's Club. Sign says: QUARTER MANIA.

Me: wondering if it's possible to get booze for a quarter, and if so, might it be worth it to venture inside? If not that, wondering how a man would put a quarter (instead of paper money) into a performer's G String. I wonder what QUARTER MANIA is.
Him: OHHH. I thought it said QUARTER MAMA...like a midget performer.
Me: And you didn't think THAT was worth commenting on?
Him: Meh.

Midget strippers. He's thinking midget strippers? Who thinks midget strippers...and doesn't check it out?