Internet Dating

Yesterday, I sat at the car dealership for three and a half hours to have tires replaced and horn repaired. After that circus of delight, I went home and firmly planted my butt in front of my computer.
I have recently received the actual full featured game of Bejeweled, which as one can imagine, is interfering substantially with my family life. I also needed to do my daily search of inane shit through the interwebs.
Briefly, I left my seat to start dinner (read: make a gin and diet tonic). Upon my return, there were 16 windows of Internet Explorer open. Most seemed to be stuck on a google page searching "n." Which really had me stumped, until I remembered that I told Sam to type "n" in the address bar and nickjr.com would appear in the history pop up tab. He just had entered the "n" in the wrong place, which must have been frustrating for him, but irrelevent for me. I closed those windows right up. S also must have clicked on a couple of side bar ads, as netflix had a pop up as did a couple of others. But, my favorite open window, by far, was a questionnaire for an Internet dating service for cougars.
Of course, I instantly start to think of how E and S would describe themselves in a dating ad.

SWM, sensitive, creative and intellectually curious seeks love. Come cry at the movies with me, shadow box alongside me, and let us slay imaginary demons together. I'm musical, love to surf the web, and enjoy all kinds of indoor, sedentary pastimes. I'll read to you, play board games with you, and love to learn all kinds of card games.

SWM, seeks very very thin woman. Let me make you laugh with my slapstick comedy. We can practice rock climbing on your furniture, and build Lego bridges to one another's hearts. I love to socialize, hang out, but not going to restaurants. Let's go out and tackle the world. Blindside it, in fact. I crave speed, danger, and making you worry. I am not for the faint of heart.