As you know, I don't really believe in fate or in things that were "meant to Be." I occasionally believe in karma, but usually that's when it's biting me in the ass. And most of the time, I refuse to think that "things happen for a Reason."
The world is a series of events that are occasionally coincidences. Some happy, some tragic. We do our best to navigate these events and hopefully, emerge at the end of a long, mostly happy life. It often doesn't happen this way, and that is why we have great art and artists and other things borne of unhappiness.
MT is one of the happy coincidences of my life. I met her and her group of friends when I insisted they share our picnic table at a park one day. We'd lived in Mobile for 2 weeks. She was friendly, and warm, and invited me and the boys to be a part of the playgroup. I could have met one of the stuck up Springhill moms that day, or some indifferent person who would have shared my table and left, but instead I met her, and I am better off for that event.
I haven't seen her in ages, mind you. She works. She lives waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out in the 'burbs. Her kids are adorable and bright and fun, and her younger son and S have a shared Lego gene. Recently, she stopped working and has arrived at a crossroads.
Many moms confront the decision of returning to work when their babies are infants. Some moms go back to work when the kids are school aged. These are more or less normal transitions in modern life.
MT is at a different circumstance. She stayed home with her babies, worked when they started school, and now finds herself stay-at-home with kids (like mine) who are gone for most of the day.
I thought our lunch today was going to be a depressing one. I thought she would tell me that staying home is mind numbingly boring. That she hates it. That nobody with 3 cooperating brain cells could do it. That she was ready to venture into retail.
I was prepared to feel bad about being home. I was prepared to have to 'defend' my life choices. I was prepared to feel like a loser. Not that she would do it intentionally, but that she'd be so stunned by her life change that all those feelings would just rush out.
Instead, I left feeling recharged in a way. She reminded me today why I like my friends. How my friends are smart. Well educated. Interesting. Curious. Creative. How we have a sense of humor, and how that's the most important tool to get through the day. How my friends know the difference between a joke I make about myself to be funny, and a joke I make to let them know I'm having a hard time about something. I left lunch thinking that I don't have to work for some one else to be doing something productive and fulfilling.
We talked about how she should design gluten free cookbooks with all the recipes she's been working on for the past year. We talked about how she could consult with families facing a Celiac Disease diagnosis. We talked about all the things she could do besides being bored.
And somewhere in my brain, a spark went off to say I could do something too.
And that was a satisfying lunch.
So, I think I'm going to start meeting with my friends who stay home. We're going to talk about what makes us happy. And find ways to make that happiness into something. We're lucky that we have these luxuries. This luxury to stay home. To not be required to earn money. We need to take that karma and turn it into something better.
So it doesn't kick us in the ass.
Thank you, MT for reminding me of this. And for your very fun lunch companionship. And, (begrudgingly, for the Girl Scout Cookies.
I hereby announce to any friend interested in NOT being another Lady Who Lunches. Any friend not wanting to be a put upon chauffeur for her children and maid to her house. Any friend who wants to remain interesting and curious and creative: We need to get together. To share ideas. To see who shares our ideas and our interests. To see if there's something out there we can do better. To love our luxury instead of being burdened by it.
Let us meet to discuss. At a spa? For a pedicure?
There's no reason we can't be well-put-together Interesting People. Right?
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