Martinis, Backyardigans and Firefighters, Oh My!

So, this is a post of many points. In no particular order. Much like my physical life, which has been all over the place recently (schlepping, parties, field trips, dentist appointments, driving, driving driving), my mind is also all helter-skelter this morning. Perhaps I should heed the cold medicine warning and not operate heavy machinery while taking that medicine. Is a computer heavy?
First, I saw a public service announcement that made made me laugh. I don't think that was the desired consumer response. The picture was a girl who looked to be about 8, but was supposed to be a tween. She was dressed all in pink with long pigtail braids. She had a martini with 2 olives in it and the caption read: "Start talking before they start drinking." Okay, if my tween is drinking a dirty martini, I'm going to shake myself one and toast her! Honestly, wouldn't it be WAY more suitable to have a tween puking her guts out with a past-its-expiration-beer in her hand? No tween ever went south drinking dirty martinis.
Second, I think my dog hit puberty yesterday. He is teething like crazy, and will chew on anything, including my nose. But last night, while chewing, he started to mate with my leg. This can't be a good development. Amusingly, though, he had this faraway look in his eyes, like maybe he was thinking of Charlize Theron while he was doing it.
Third, it is time to vote. A mere 9% of voters remain undecided. I am convinced these are the same people who can't order off a menu. If a voter can't choose between one end of the political spectrum and the other, s/he might need a refresher in civics. There is no common ground between these two candidates. This is not like choosing between the cobb salad and the dinner salad. This is like choosing between the steak and potatoes and the dinner salad. NOTHING the same. The rest of us have made up our mind, and would like to get this over with. Politics is becoming a swirling riptide of news media pull and chatter. I want to make it all stop. Let's vote, swear in, and move on. This is interfering with my usual schedule of thinking about dinner salads and steaks.
Fourth, if Nickelodeon can't dig up one new FREAKING episode of the Backyardigans, I am going to hurt some one.
Finally, yesterday we went to the fire department with E's school. E learned about smoke detectors and fire safety. He was disappointed when they raised the ladder only 60 of its 110 feet. I was so disappointed that all the firefighters don't have six pack abs and beautiful pecs and lounge around the trucks and hoses wearing only their hats and g-strings like they do in all the fire fighter calendars. I guess we all learned something yesterday.