Two if By Land

So, I ran around the house today in "parents are coming" mode. Again. My mom is (and I say this without irony) graciously coming to spend Halloween with the boys. Which is nice because, you know, kids grow out of Halloween fast, and they're cute all dressed up, and this way I don't have to eat all the candy by myself.
On the flip side, OnStar clean-up is still a dream, and my house just isn't up to par. Nor is my garden. Or my laundry. Or my car. Or, let's be honest, me or my children. With this cold,I sound like Kathleen Turner. And not kinda foxy War of the Roses Kathleen Turner. More like transgendered Chandler's dad Kathleen Turner from Friends. My head hurts from screaming all the time just to make myself heard, and I'm down to the really old underwear in my drawer because I haven't put away the BASKETS full of clean laundry. (Is that better or worse than having no underwear because it's all dirty?)
My kids are excited to see grandma, but in a spoiled, annoying kind of way. My car smells like Chinese food and spoiled milk sippy cup. My kids seem to generate more laundry than Elton John. And, honestly, I have piles of crap randomly growing around the house.
Additionally, I'm beat. The reason the house isn't all spic and span is because I walked three miles this morning in the freezing cold, which actually took something out of me. I had a beer with dinner, which is having its desired narcoleptic effects, and everyone relevant at my house is either sleeping or at work. So, I'm going to bed at 8:15. I could stay up. But it won't come to that.
So, my mom is coming. But I feel guilty when she comes and does work. Except for babysitting. I do NOT feel guilty about that. So, I won't want to work in front of her, because she wants to help, and I won't let her work, so scratch another week of getting anything done OFF the list.
On the upside, since she is here, M and I are running away to Biloxi for the weekend. It's not Monaco. Hell, it's not even Vegas, but it's away. And child-free. And relaxing. So, I am excited about that. Also, and this is in no way personal, but E and S can go to their fourteen-millionth birthday party this month without me. Grandma can go. I will provide present, wrapped and ready and Grandma can go. I have no desire to go to yet ANOTHER party. There is an endless stream of aging children out there, people. Somebody needs to FIX IT!
So, come Saturday, I will be footloose and fancy free. Must make it to Saturday. Must make it to Saturday....
And only the hideousness of Halloween stands in my way. I can hear the MWAAHAHAHAH of Dracula now. Spooky.