A-Toned For

Easy Fast, for all you Jews out there. Fasting? You have got to be kidding me. I've been fasting for months. Nothing has toned. Oh, atoned. Does that mean without tone? Because my muscles seem to sufffer from that.
Atonement. Acknowledging error and making right with man and God. S has a whole day off from school today while services are held, and while we honor the holiday of Yom Kippur. (I accidentally typed Yum Kippur, which tells you I'm still back on the idea of fasting.)
So, S and I are spending Yom Kippur by cleaning up the playroom, sharing lunch, and visiting the fire station. While I am hoping the fire station closer to my house is staffed by aforementioned calendar models, that is not the main reason we are going. S was jealous of E's field trip, and there's a fire station walking distance from home, and basically, I can't think of any good reasons why we can't go. So, there.
Wait, I was atoning. About wrongs. I have come to the conclusion that I don't think I could have wronged anyone but my family this year, as I seem to only have contact with them. If I've wronged you, and am not related to you, please forgive me. It will pave my way to a more peaceful new year. If you are related to me, and I have wronged you, you probably deserved it. Except M. Who probably gets wronged on a daily basis. Even probably today, on the day of atonement, and usually doesn't deserve it. So, here in front of all 2 of my readers (one of whom is you, dear) I apologize for any and all wrongs I have undeservedly flung at you like poop from a monkey cage.
I will offer up to you as a peace offering a full weekend of collegiate and professional football. No, wait. I will offer up to you a weekend including Winnie the Pooh Live: Christopher Robin Comes Out and a trip to New Orleans. So, yah. Add that to the list of wrong monkey poop.
Atonement. I am feeling wronged these days. Perhaps my own delusions and paranoia. But, I feel wronged by avaricious companies and their executives, by an inscrutable and dishonorable government, by a world economy that I can't begin to even comprehend, by reckless and inflammatory media outlets. I feel as though there are only two political positions on the current and lamentable state of the world: It's all coming to an end or It's all coming to an end and it's not my fault.
But listing the wrongs done unto me is not the spirit of the holiday of atonement. So, although I cannot undo my wrongs, I honor the holiday by trying not to repeat them. I have wronged the planet--I am going to reduce my carbon footprint. I have been wrong in my consumerism--I am going to consume less of everything. I wronged charity--I did not give enough this year. I am celebrating today with food (let's be realistic, at least) and a sense of renewed hope: It's all coming to an end, but I can do something to try to stop it.