The Final Weekend

Well, this is it. Weeks of summer that seemed to inch by now seem gone in a blink. The last weekend of summer.
I remember the ambivalence of this weekend as a kid. Eager to go back to school (I was a nerd, hence blogging. Big surprise.) I wanted to see my friends, I longed for the organized, crisp new boxes of markers and pens. I always had a clean, new bookbag and clothes. I would gather and regather the new supplies. Pack them in the bag, set it by the door and carefully plan the first day's outfit.
Of course, it was the end of summer. Our summers were great as kids. We vacationed--usually a road trip plus a long stay at the beach--we were tanned and blond (with green highlights from the pool). Our little feet were practically raw from days jumping and playing in the gunnite pool. The house was cool, the outside was hot, and my sister and I had free reign over the outside kingdom of our house. Dad grilled, mom relaxed, and the sun still hadn't set by the time we collapsed in our beds. Summer was incredible.
Now, of course, I see summer from an entirely different perspective, in a different place. Here, it's unholy hot during the days. My kids still play outside, but it's a play dulled by the heat and the humidity here in the south. They've adopted the lazy pace of the south as dictated by the weather. They play in the pool. We have a vinyl pool now, and their little feet still have the calluses of running barefoot. We grill, I hope I relax the rules, and my kids are brown little bears. I have restocked E's school supplies. He has a new bookbag, clean and crisp. He has beautiful new clothes, a proper haircut, and trimmed and clean fingernails. He has lost the wildness of summer, and has been reclaimed for a civilized life. His first year of Kindergarten. "Real" school. He's apprehensive about making friends, but he always has a bunch after the first week. He's eager to learn more math, he says. I am eager for him to go. Not only because I am ready for my kids to leave me alone for a few hours a day, but because I want him to enjoy that great first day of school. A place all his own. A cubby or a desk, even a coat hook with his name on it. Dressed in his favorite outfit. Ready to go.
Part of what makes the anticipation of school so sweet is knowing that you had an amazing summer; that it wasn't wasted. I always felt that summer was finished, I had completed it, that I was ready for school. I hope E feels that way. I hope our trips, our movies, our ice cream breaks, our afternoons in the pool make him feel that we somehow did it all. That when you enjoyed yourself to the utmost, school is a welcome change. I hope he goes off with the same freshness and enthusiasm that I had in September.
Though I still have a little ambivalence....a different kind now. But much like the glory of summer must turn to school schedules, so must the glory of my little baby transition to a school aged boy. But, I think we did the preschool years well. We did it all, we enjoyed ourselves to the utmost, and school is the next step. I think I'm ready, too.