Physics. Laws Were Made to be Broken

I had a great day. Kids in the pool (til it rained), enjoyed the last drops of summer. Those golden, hazy drops of sweetness with my children. The days, I won't lie, that have been stacked up like semi trucks in a snowstorm since freaking May. Summer needs to be 5 weeks long. Winter Break needs to be 4 weeks long. Spring Break needs to be 2 weeks long. Children, like alcohol, are best enjoyed in moderation. Too much makes you throw up.
I wore my "slimmer suit" today in the pool. The one that makes you look 10 pounds thinner "the moment you put it on." As if it takes ONE moment to put on. I worked up a sweat trying to put that sucker on, which made it worse, because then I was sweaty and it wouldn't pull up. If there were hidden cameras in my bathroom, it would have looked like I was warming up for Cirque du Soleil. I was cavorting, stretching, pulling, bending. It's a freaking yoga workout. The funny thing to me, though, was that after 3 or 4 minutes of putting on this god forsaken suit, I'm finally all in it, and then there's this quaint little clasp at the neckline to fasten. As if that suit were going anywhere! A tsunami could not pull that suit off of me. Taking it off after swimming, in fact, was an equally gymnastic activity. And when I took it off, I felt as though all my rolls and bulges just spread out like dough. The whole thing was actually a traumatic experience. I should get therapy.
Time Magazine is running an article that debunks the myth of "moderate exercise." To lose weight, the study suggests, an hour (not a half hour)or more most days (not just 3 per week) a week is necessary.
Great. More days to feel guilty.
I want to be like a kid. I want to eat three bites of grilled cheese for lunch and then nothing else for two and a half days. I'd like to live off the calories of chocolate milk and chicken nuggets. That's it. My kids run around like hell demons, sure, but they seem to do it on 15 calories a day. How is that possible? Weight is all about calories in = calories out. Children are growing, playing, talking, developing, screaming, fighting, running, crashing calorie consumers. How do they live on a hot dog a day? There's something we're not being told.
Also, my S defies sleep rules. Children need rest. We know this. I napped with him today, because he was exhausted (and I had two margaritas) and I didn't want a meltdown at dinner time. So, I'm laying there, watching my angel drift into sleep, and I realize HIS EYES AREN'T CLOSED. He's sleeping, the eyeballs are all rolled up, but the lids aren't down. This kid is freakin' me out. He took his wide open nap for an hour, at least. No meltdown today.
Tomorrow, the last of the summer vacations. The good old family road trip. I might be posting tomorrow, because, you know, I'll have to turn this car around and go home.