What the hell happened to Thursday? I was home, running, cleaning, showering. Then I was eating lunch. Then, I picked up S at school, and got sucked into the Twilight Zone. I mean it was 1 PM when I walked out the door with him. It is now 4:05. What the hell happened to Thursday? Did I ask that already? Was that a minute ago?
I wish the Internet were my time suck. It seems there are many interesting things I could be learning about...destruction from Gustav, VP candidate in a bikini, destruction from Hanna, VP candidate in the nude, destruction from Ike, VP candidate's pregnant daughter, destruction from Josephine, VP candidate calling play-by-play at her last job (she was a sportscaster before politics.) The world is filled with such endless variety of information. Ms. Palin seems to be chum in the ocean. I'm filming for Shark Week. Watching people skewer her is not nearly as eye popping, though, as watching people defend her so vehemently. I can't look away.
M's cousin's wife has been in labor for 36 hours (don't worry, there's a common thread, here people. Stick with me). Eventually, when the baby gets here, that poor thing is going to hear about how her mom struggled to bring her into the world for the rest of her life. Amusingly, though, M's cousin and his wife are rookie parents. Much like the political chumming of Ms. Palin, I feel like new parents are also lay bare as bait to the newborn infant. Instead of sharks, though, I prefer the zebra/lion analogy. Poor parents-zebras, weary from pregnancy and delivery, tired of grazing the Serengeti of maternity wear, fatigued from heartburn and being kicked in the ribs are just walking steaks to a newborn-lion. The newborn lion, gestating, healthy, full of lung and empty of food are just waiting to pop out and attack. Food, poop, midnight madness, all the ways of the lion to wear down the exhausted zebra until finally, poor parent-zebra winds up as a rug in the foyer....with baby spit up on it.
And we veteran parents, we have seen the weak in the herd fall. And now, we can sit back in wisdom and wry smiles as these eager rookies break into parenthood armed with boob maxi pads and pumps, million-pocketed diaper bags, and all the newfangled gadgets that every parent doesn't need. Experience has made me wiser, yes. But mostly it's made me kind of a bitch. So, sit back, turn on the TV, and savor all the tortures you are not now enduring.
Tally-ho!
It's a shame you're not able to follow the VP stories more closely. Like, every hour on the hour, something ridiculous comes out. Frankly, I think that Bristol and Levi are becoming celebrities at just the right time, as the Brittney/ K-Fed drama seems just about played out.
ReplyDeleteM's cousin here and after (what turned out to be only) 30 hours of labor, you better believe we'll be telling the little one what her mother went through to bring her into the world. But your post gives me a fantastic idea, we will record the story of her arduous birth and play it for her whenever the mood strikes.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, she can't wait to meet S and E for her whirling dervish lessons.