Moms' Nights Out

First of all, woohoo! Is there any mom out there who doesn't crave a mom's night out? To talk about anything in multi syllabic words? But I have questions.
Second, why is it called Moms' Night Out? Do guys get together at the bar after work or over a sporting event and call it Dads' Night Out? No. Why do we carry our secondary identity with us everywhere? I move for a change in name. Just Girls' Night. It's our night NOT to be moms--let's not remind ourselves of what we are trying to escape.
Third, why is it such a rare event? Children go to sleep, I honestly believe husbands might not even notice if we were gone, and yet we feel tied to our domestic responsibilities. Somehow, we are obligated to run the dishwasher, feed the pets, fold the last load of laundry, pack the lunches and go to bed at night. WHY? Is it guilt? Anxiety over leaving children with husbands? Fatigue?
Fourth, why doesn't Girls' Night involve greasy wings and pitchers of beer? I am all about cheeseburgers, onion rings and ice cold beer. In jeans and a sweatshirt. With college-age male eye candy around. (It's nice to ogle younger men when you are a mom, since we are INVISIBLE to younger men. They don't even notice we are looking.) Is there no bar in town that would feed me some delicious trans fats while having 34 televisions tuned to Grey's Anatomy or Sex In The City, or a slide show of George Clooney while intravenously administering alcohol? In a recliner? While some one gives me a pedicure? That's it! I'll call it Spar (spa + bar). The perfect place for ladies to spend an evening. Comfy clothes and pony tails required. Investors?
Sadly, though, after last night's adventures, I don't feel like running this morning. I don't feel like grocery shopping, I don't feel like doing anything except eating potato chips and watching old Oprah episodes. (I only like the ones where she's fat. Less guilt that way).
I'm going to get a big crossword puzzle and sit on my butt for a while. Extend my Moms' Night Out to a Moms' Morning In. Woohoo!