We are house training Clooney. He's done pretty well, although he has accidents occasionally. Mostly because we take him outside to potty and he's an instant hyper puppy: "Flowers, flowers flowers, ooooh a bee, bee bee bee bee. Smells good smells good smells good...smells bad. Hey, cat! Cat cat cat cat...Ow. Cat whacked me. Gotta pee gotta pee gotta pee. Ahh, pee. Gotta poop gotta poop. Oh, cool--cat."
And thus, he forgets to poop until he's totally bored in the house. The two failures we've had, though, he managed to poop on tile floor in a bathroom. Which, considering the intellect of a dog, is pretty good. Also, regarding clean up, pretty convenient. So long as we have a dog crapping in the house, we might as well make it convenient.
S stumbled onto the first accident and came running. He even punished the dog by locking him in the crate. Perfect. M cleaned up poop and all was done.
The second accident went from failed poop to poop felony. E, who, shall we say, is a space cadet at best, absentminded nomad at worst, wandered into the bathroom. He apparently peed, and while doing so, stepped in Clooney's accident. This could have been the worst of it. But, no. First, he had to wipe his foot ON THE RUG in the bathroom. Then, instead of staying there and calling for me or M as he does when any other mini catastrophe strikes him, he decides to seek us out. With poop on his foot. Through the kitchen, office, dining room...oh, hey. There you guys are. With poop on his foot. So M goes into the bathroom to find poop paste and a foot wipe on the rug. Did I mention the POOP ON HIS FOOT?
I cleaned feet and floors along the search trail. M cleared up poop prints and put the rug in the washing machine.
There was a LOT of yelling. I mean A LOT.
S said it was both "stupid and embarrassing." Which I find hilarious. He also said E's name was "Mud." Also true.
What the hell? When did E's attention span leave Earth's gravitational pull? It used to be in the stratosphere, but now it's gone. Poof. Fly him to the moon...
He DIDN'T notice a GIANT dog turd on the floor of a room that is 3 feet by 3 feet. Would he have noticed a cow pie? How could a child who can be so engaging and so clever with language (he asked us how to use the phone--with a croc-o-dial... Cute, no?) But did I mention he had POOP ON HIS FOOT? Oh my God. It was out of the playbook of Stupid Guy #2 in the worst American Pie movie you ever saw. There are invertebrates who would have managed to slither away from the poop. Hell, the dumb dog who pooped in the house in the first place wouldn't step in his own poop.
I am at my end with Space Traveler E. He walks into walls, he forgets things he has IN HIS HANDS. He has been known to bite his own finger while eating and watching the TV at the same time (on the rare occasions that we permit this. We don't want him to choke.) He's a wreck, and I have no ideas on how to ask him to rejoin planet Us.
But sometimes, I think he gets it. His babysitter Saturday told him he seemed pretty smart. "No, " he replied, "I stepped in dog poop." Right on, Rover.
But when he does rejoin the stratosphere, I'd rather he not have dog poop on his foot.
G has also been a space cadet lately. She says it is because she has bigger things to think about. I say like what...She answers, complex math equations for a six year old, gravity and why they do certain things in other countries. I hope these thoughts are why she runs into walls, spills water all over floor b/c didn't notice water was to the top of her glass, forgets to wash her hands (all the time) and uses her clothes as a freaking napkin. Oh I could go on....
ReplyDeleteI've wondered how the potty training has been going. We've had some major setbacks with Magda and so now she is on very close supervision. She prefers the expensive rugs to poo on. Her big thing now is to eat her poo or go find some really old ones in the yard to bring it to us. We try to get around this all by taking her on leash across the street to the neighbors giant hedges and let her poo under them.
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