Thursday, August 28, 2008

I'll Bloat Away

I don't know what came over me last night. Yesterday afternoon, I dutifully went to the market and purchased fresh, organic meat and produce to make a lovely roasted vegetable/chicken enchilada dinner. Yum. Cheese and Mexican goodness. What could be better?
Then, it happened. At around 4:30, I was hit with an intense craving for Chinese Food. Not gourmet or healthy Chinese food, either. Greasy, fried, starchy, soaking through the cute little Chinese food holder Chinese food. The little waxen egg roll holder transparent in big round grease spots. Opening the delivery bag to the guilt inducing aromas of Sesame and General Tso. Ahh. I gorged myself. Really. It was disgusting. And after I ate all of that greasy, fried, corn-syrup laden food, I nibbled--ever so delicately--a fortune cookie.
My fortune, of course, was some optimistic quip about confidence and lottery numbers. What it should have said, is "apparently, it is the year of the pig. You disgust me, you gluttonous oaf." Because no matter HOW badly I want Chinese food, no matter HOW urgently my craving must be met, no matter WHAT I order, I always regret eating it 10 minutes after I'm through.
Maybe it's that post-feeding frenzy malaise. Maybe it's lethargy from eating dubious meat in high fructose sauces. Maybe it's the calculation of the 14,000 calories I ingested. Whatever it is, guilt washes over me almost as intensely as the initial craving.
I resolve to exercise harder.
So, this morning I get up and my fingers have morphed into little cocktail wieners. There are no knuckles, just chubby little blobs that used to be appendages. The salt strikes again. I can't possibly run with all this fluid retention. It will be like sloshing around in a fat suit. I need to flush this body out.
Instead I take an hour long speed walk. I feel a compromise. I negotiated with the saline retention to find a solution. Yes, I did slosh around a little. But I exercised pretty well. And I hope it will be a while before I become possessed by the Chinese food cravings. I hope.
Tonight Mexican?
By the way, Gustav has turned left, headed for poor New Orleans. (Gustav and Katrina are both fierce, Russian sounding names). Though we will probably still feel some effects. But Hanna has now formed east of the leeward islands. The Atlantic Basin looks like Air Traffic Controller Radar. Keep an eye on us at noaa.gov

2 comments:

  1. Awesome post but you need to remove the Gustav thing from the middle...
    Proof reading M

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  2. There was this funny chinese belief that I used to hear in SF about how they believe the more tea you drink - the more fat it flushes out of your body after gorging on dim sum.

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