Thursday, December 4, 2008

Early 80s TV--Missing It Now

So, yeah. Apparently consensus among friends is that I AM crazy. Oh, well. I DID put my shoes in plastic shoe boxes and arrange them by color and season yesterday, so it's possible mis amigas are not far from the mark.
In light of the reruns plaguing TV right now, I was thinking about shows I used to watch, that died in rerun hell. I'm only going to include my top five, but honorable mentions include: Saved By the Bell, Happy Days, ChiPs, Emergency! and The Rockford Files.
First, natch, The Golden Girls. Was there anything better than a septuagenarian slut? Who prescribed that woman her hormone replacement? WAAAAAAAAY too much. And Bea Arthur, who was apparently put on testosterone by mistake? Ah, funny, racist, drunk women with martinis and hunky handymen. Brilliant.
2) I admit reluctantly, Knight Rider. OK, I thought Hasselhof was dreamy. Yah, yah. I know. But the fabulous curly hair and the jacket and the jeans. Sigh. It must be my German DNA.
3) Little House on the Prairie. What the hell? Calico, randomly blind sisters, Michael Landon (come to think of it, he was pretty dreamy, too), that blond rich bitch. It was like 90210 for the Pony Express set.
4) Murder, She Wrote. Have I mentioned I had a sheltered childhood? It wasn't until I was much older that I realized that this was not what Angela Lansbury is famous for. Also, the Don't Get Mad, Get Glad guy was in it. Like everyone else, I was pretty convinced Angela was the kiss of death. But much like Betty White's portrayal of the dense Minnesotan, the inhabitants of rural Cabot Cove and their disappearing accents was always worthwhile. The best thing about M,SW is that my mom watched it all the time into my teenage years. I always asked her how she could be watching the same things over and over and not remember who did it? She claims she fell asleep before the perps were ever revealed and, thus, was eternally seeking answers to whodunnit.
5) The best show I watched in syndication purgatory: Hart to Hart. I LOVED that show. Brave, perfectly fringe-haired Stephanie Powers and rich, dreamy, slightly paunchy Robert Wagner, along with their beloved yet gruff butler and their little lap dog stumbled upon bizarre mysteries and incidents. Usually the mystery centered around some new found bauble the couple bought: jewels, art, Mercedes...they had the perfect setting for any adventure. Oh, and they were so in love. And the way Wagner called her "darling," in his completely pompous, over the top, stuffed shirt way. Awesomeness. I wanted to be Mrs. Hart. I wanted to be perfectly coiffed and able to run in high heels and a torn ball gown. And have my husband who doted on me pour me whiskey out of a crystal decanter after adjusting his ascot. What a life! Oh, TV. How I miss your golden days.

3 comments:

  1. Golden Girls was maybe the funniest show on TV in its day. Dorothy was definitely my fav. And Little House was, and still is, awesome. Except now when I watch it, with my medical background, I am deeply bothered by the lack of explanation regarding the ailments of some of the characters, ie, Mary's random blindness. Anyway, luckily, one can catch reruns of those many, many times a day. However, two of my absolute favorites on TV were The Love Boat and Fantasy Island. Ooooh, how I wish those were in syndication! I would quite possibly not watch anything from the current line up!

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  2. P.S. Shoes organized by season??? Holy hell.

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  3. Oh the love boat. Also one of my favorites Remington Steele (loved Pierce Brosnan still do). Oh 21 Jump Street just for Johnny Depp. Yummy. Cheers. Family Ties. Magnum PI. And on and on. Boy there were some good ones. Thanks for the blast from the past. Speaking of Little House I was always Laura and my sister Mary. Then my brother had to play Albert.

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