Pantry Diving

My kids are a little bit like hobbits and Winnie the Pooh when it comes to eating...breakfast, tensies, lunch, onesies, late snack, dinner...a little smackerel of food here, a little smackerel there.
It is 8:15 and S is on breakfast #3. I feel obligated to feed him in the mornings, because he never eats very well, and breakfast(s) is/are the most important meal(s) of the day. Today, he had an apple toaster pastry, which he ate, but to which he gave lukewarm reviews; oatmeal, because that's what his brother had; Cheerios, because after cleaning up two breakfasts, that's all I was offering.
Theoretically, the way the kids eat is healthy: small meals throughout the day prevent you from loading up on one fattening meal (this is how I eat, by the way). However, how can children survive on pure carbohydrates? That's all mine ever eat! Fruit, sure. Crackers, chips, foods of an unnatural color, fruit-ish snacks, granola bars, bagels, cereal. My kids have never met a refined carb/sugar they didn't like. Protein is another story altogether. Meat? Nope. Chicken? EWWWWWWWWW. Yogurt? Not unless it's florescent pink and comes with a cartoon character on it. (i.e., carbohydrate) Fish? If it's deep fried.
Every food not happily disguised with dressing, breading, ketchup, food coloring or chocolate is a struggle. Apparently, S eats better at school when he is presented with limited options, but small consolation this is to me. MK said she broke her son of the juice habit over summer by only offering water. This is my current plan. More water, less sugar, and no smackerels.
I assume this will last about two days or until I have to check the children into the hospital for dehydration.
S has finished breakfast #3, and is off to school, where he will happily receive his tensies. I, on the other hand, have been washing clothes, linens, dishes, and picking up the remnants of weekend revelry and have not yet had breakfast #1.
Unless cup #5 of coffee counts.